Chakai’s 8th Birthday

February 19, 2010
8 years ago today, I remember weighing 40 pounds heavier. I remember at exactly 4:10 in the afternoon, doctors cut me open and 5 minutes after, my beautiful daughter came into the world. For months before that, I was anxiously awaiting her arrival, I wondered how she would look like, how she would smell, how she would sound and how it would feel like to have her out of me. When she came out, I cried tears of joy when I saw her. She was gorgeous and to me, she was perfect. It’s funny how you can love someone you’ve just met so much more than yourself.

We gave her the name Franchesca Christienne Emille. It’s a long name, I am aware, but I really wanted to name her Franchesca and B wanted to name her Christienne Emille because of what the name meant to him. We call her Chakai for short.

When Chakai came into my world, everything changed for the better. I became a better version of me.

I still don’t know what the hell I am doing with regards to being a parent, I just take it one day at a time. I am not the world’s greatest mom, but I do my best to do what is best according to what I think is best for my kids, you know?

Anyway, one day, Chakai will read this, so here’s an open letter I want her to read:

Dear Chakai,

Happy Birthday! I know that things have changed between us ever since Lucas came, but I want you to know that my love for you has not changed. I love you with all my heart and that will never change. Lucas is still a baby, and he needs Mommy to take care of him ALL THE TIME. I know most of the time I ask you to go to Daddy for help with your assignments or with anything that you need, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to help you, I do, but most of the time, I don’t have what it takes to help you out, you know? I hope you understand, Mommy is not a robot and is no super hero, Mommy gets stressed out and she gets stressed out easily. I am sorry if sometimes you feel that I take it out on you. I love you Chakai, you are the best thing that ever happened to me and I thank the Lord everyday that you are my daughter. Forgive me for all my flaws and I promise when Lucas is no longer clingy, we’ll have more time to spend together. I love you forever and always my peanut.

Love, Mommy

I hope when she becomes a teen she doesn’t hate me and I hope she doesn’t go all emo on me.

We didn’t have a big celebration to celebrate her birthday, B and I just bought whatever food she wanted, soda, pasta, pizza, cake and ice cream, and had an intimate dinner with just the 4 of us and my Mom-In-Law.


Outlined Text Generator at TextSpace.net

Outlined Text Generator at TextSpace.net

Hit me baby, one more time!

Only registered users can comment.

  1. Franchesca Christienne Emille is such a beautiful name.. but it fits such a beautiful person!! πŸ™‚ She's looking more and more like you, ane! πŸ™‚

  2. Just reading that open letter to Chakai gives me this strong desire to just weep…. It's so beautiful! And it IS definitely funny and weird (but in a good way) to love someone so deeply when you've just met them for the first time. It feels like your heart would just burst out of your chest.. πŸ™‚

    You're a really terrific mother, ane! πŸ™‚ Here to hoping that the teen angst wouldn't be THAT bad.. LOL!

  3. Your letter made me cry! I have been thinking about when is the best time to have baby #2 because I don't want my relationship with Logan to change. I mean, I know it'll change no matter what but as long as it's positive that's fine! I just don't want him to feel that he is second once baby #2 comes. But, there is probably no avoiding it, babies are needy. Your daughter clearly is a wonderful little girl so that gives me hope that Logan can still be a great kid even if I have a hard time balancing everything once he has a sibling. You are an inspiration as a mother. Happy birthday to Chakai!

  4. Was it a weepy kind of letter? πŸ˜€

    here here! in a few years Shem, we'll be dealing with TEEN ANGST! πŸ˜€ But at least we have each other to turn to! πŸ˜€ and I hope it is not that bad! πŸ˜€

    Thanks Shem, I still think I suck as a mom, but thanks.. πŸ˜›

  5. Hey Andrea, I'd wait a couple more years if I were you, at least until Logan is old enough to understand that the baby needs mom more than he does and until you're confident that he won't be jealous.. πŸ˜€ It took us 6 years to make sure Chakai wanted a baby brother or sister, and we made her want to have a brother before having Lucas, she's more forgiving when it comes to not getting the kind of attention she used to have when it was just her… πŸ™‚

    Thanks Andrea, but I have to say, I think I am not that good of a mom, not yet, am still learning.. πŸ˜€ I'm glad I inspire you though.. Thanks so much! πŸ™‚

  6. Happy Birthday baby girl! I hope u had a wonderful celebration with your adorable brother and your Mom and Dad! :* :* :* :* :*

  7. I looooooooooooooove your beautiful pic here Ane…. poofy hair or not! Not poofy la and u look super SW as always! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  8. I also love ur letter for Chakai…I hope she will read it one day and feel just as teary as how I am feeling right now.. hugs all around and Happy Birthday to Chakai once more… :* :* :*

  9. Yeah Marzie, my hair isn't poofy anymore, since I had a hair cut last month! πŸ™‚ So yay! πŸ™‚ and SW? Yay i guess.. πŸ˜€

  10. I read it to her but then I guess she doesn't understand it yet, I told her to read it again when she's about 16 so she can understand.. πŸ˜€

  11. I know you're trying to be the best mother you can be both to your kids. But sometimes, there's only enough to be done and you've got only one body. I suggest you plan a time for your girl—-like a Mommy time with her alone each day, probably an hour –by spending quality time with her such as doing crafts with her, story telling or drawing or playing. She will know that you actually spend time with her and she will grow up knowing that you take time to be with her despite your busyness.

    I got this advice from watching "Supernanny" all the time.

  12. yeah.. it a beautiful kind of weepy letter! I love it! πŸ™‚ OH noooo to teen
    angst! LOL! YEah, that you're right.. at least we can compare notes! I think
    i suck as a mom too.. LOL! but we're trying as best we can and still
    learning, so that's what matters, right? πŸ˜€

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *